The Best Random Funny Pickup Line, Pick up line, Pickupline generator / collection.


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I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

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Pickup lines

When you meet a funny, sexy , interesting stranger you want to talk with, you might need a good and funny pickup line (also called pick-up line, pick up line or chat-up line). This is a conversation opener with the intent of engaging an unfamiliar person for humor, romance, or dating.

Pickup lines can be straight forward conversation openers; at its simplest as "hi", going through the full range to the most elaborate attempts including humor such as "If you were Spock's phaser, you would be set to stun" or "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together". Also, they can be to flirt, such as "Do you have a map, because I keep getting lost in your eyes."

On this website you'll find the biggest collection of pickup lines on the internet. And also, and therefore this site is unique, we also have a big set of funny, humorous, sad, sexy and serious pickup line stories.

A few recent stories about pickuplines that did (or did not) work:


Bad pickup line

This is a bad pickup line story. My sexy friend and I were walking down the street when a guy on a bike stopped and asked us if he could ask us a question. He seemed serious and like he needed directions or something. So we stop and he turns to my sexy friend and tells the pickup line he’d “love to take her out sometime”. My friend nicely tells him she has a boyfriend and we continue walking down the street. After about 30 seconds of consideration, the guy yells to me this pickup line “Hey, what about you? You look good too!” I wonder if that approach ever actually works for him.


Cheesy pickup line in the movies

About three weeks before my graduation I met a guy on the soccer team. The strangeness was I had grown up two streets over from him when till my eighth grade year, I knew of his ex sister in law who was in my sisters wedding and knew all his friends. Yet I never had met him. The sad thing is I we met in the math room at my high school and both kept coming up everyday during lunch. Finally one day I thought I'd give him my email address and we started talking for 3 hours at a time. It's like we became instant friends. Neither one of us knew the other liked eachother. Last June 1st both our plans with friends got cancelled and we both ended up on the computer and he asked if I wanted to go to a movie. I thought sure were friends why not? Even though my Mom was convinced it was a date. So he picked me up with a new hair cut and opened my door for me. I should have known then right? Well I didn't and on our way to dinner he got a speeding ticket. Which we now laugh about. So I felt bad and paid for my own dinner. Not till we walked out the door and he offered his arm did I realized this was a date! Then we went to the movies, and he did the cutest thing. He put the divider between the chairs up so I could come closer to him. Then he said the cheesy pickup line, "your not the kind of girl that kisses on the first date are you?" So I leaned over and kissed him, and for the rest of the movie he held me, played with my hair, looked down at me with his beautiful brown eyes and gave me little kisses. Some may look at us and wonder how we missed out for over 12 years of not meeting, for us we see it as a destiny that we met so late. we hit it off right away and spent a wonderful summer together. After some tough times we have been together for 8 months and next year he will be at college with me. Our first date was funny, our first kiss incredible, and our love undeniable.


First date story

After surfing on the internet and reading wikipedia, I was flying out of town to go visit my brother. I knew he had a new girlfriend since his divorce and I did not want to be the proverbial third wheel at dinner or at the numerous clubs we would be frequenting so I remembered there was this online singles site that had chapters all over the country. I checked it out and sure enough, they had a site in the town I was headed so I decided to join, just to see if I could fly into town with a date or two. Being 6’5 and in decent shape certainly didn’t hurt my chances and in just a few days I was talking to a few very intelligent and beautiful ladies, and telling them pickup lines. As luck would have it, my brother’s location changed a week or so before I flew out so I was unable to enjoy their company. However, there ended up being an interesting light at the end of the tunnel. One of the privileges of this system is that you can scan other sites to see what members are online. During a check of the local area where I lived, I came across the profile of a very intelligent, articulate, and indeed very beautiful woman. There were a few factors that jumped out at me, she was 6’2, educated, seemed to know what she wanted out of life, and according to her profile, she was not afraid of saying it out loud. After the initial letter explaining why someone so close was writing from a website across the country, we started to exchange emails. Of course as in most cases, the emails moved to phone conversations. It was during these conversations I decided to ask her out for the following week. Major mistake, she said yes immediately and now I had to wait almost an entire week to meet this woman who through numerous long conversations was walking slowly into my life.
After what seemed like the longest week of my life, the night of our first date arrived. We had agreed to meet at a very quiet little Thai place not far from where she lived and not too far from the hotel I was staying at in town that night. You see, I don’t live in the metro area, but about and hour and a half away. I get into the metro area numerous times a month on business so seeing her regularly was not going to problem. I got to the place a little before she did, that in itself is pretty amazing considering her directions were more than a little off. Seeing her walk into the place was something magical in itself, she was strikingly beautiful with incredible long legs. I immediately stepped to her and took her into my arms, a nice warm hug that started a buzz in me that would last for most of the night. I was totally disarmed by her smile and her warm eyes. They bordered on hypnotic and amazing. When she smiled, I felt lost. During dinner, she crossed her legs once, the slit in her skirt road up so high I literally lost my train of thought and told her so, and she had no idea why it happened. She just smiled. You never know how a first date is going until the end, because we all know that a woman decides whether she wants to sleep with a new date in the first 3 minutes she meets him and then he gets the rest of the night to screw up and change her mind to ‘no’. At 9:15 she looked at her watch and said she needed to be home by 9:30 because the babysitter, she has an 8-year-old daughter, was a young girl from down the street. I walked her to her car, staying on the street side of the sidewalk while we walked, my hand in the small of her back. At her car she turned to me and asked me if I wanted to come up to the house for 2 hours because she knew we both needed to be up earlier for work and it was midweek. What a pickup line! It was at that very moment that I realized that she was enjoying herself as much as I was. After telling her ‘Of course!’ I don’t remember my feet touching the pavement as I quickly walked to my car.
I followed her white car up the hill. While we were laughing and talking on our cell phones, I could not get the image of her smile out of my mind. We arrived at the house and walked inside. In the television room we found her daughter, who I recognized from the picture shared over dinner, and two young teen girls. She turned to me and asked if I minded staying her with her daughter while she took the two girls home. I smiled and told her I waited a week for this date, a few more minutes would be easy. She smiled, my heart melted a bit more and then I was left with a house that radiated her smell and a very bright young lady who displayed the same spice and shyness her mother had shown a few hours earlier. We walked into the living room and she sat on one end of the couch, almost as a challenge, I sat immediately across from her in the chair. Her conversation seemed to measure me, she was definitely more observant then the normal eight-year-old. I was surprised at her canter and her genuine interest in what I said. After what seemed like seconds, I heard the front door shut and walking around the corner into the livingroom she came, a look of complete amazement on her face. She told her daughter it was bedtime and after a short banter of free wills, she took her up to bed. I busied myself looking around the room, looking at each piece of furniture, each piece of art, looking for her in each piece. I heard her come in behind me, my back to her. I felt her there for a few seconds before she spoke, knowing she was observing me. Seeing the soft smile on her face as I turned to her fortified my feelings. After fixing each of us drink, the lights turned to a very comfortable low level; we sat on the couch and continued to talk. My right arm was resting on the back of the couch and my fingers began to caress the side of her neck. I could see the affect it was having in her eyes but I did not want to push issues with her. It all felt so comfortable and the last thing I wanted to do was turn this into something other than a great first date and hopefully a very nice beginning. The music playing matched our moods and the soft light led to very comfortable conversation. I could tell she was getting tired, or perhaps her defenses were dropping. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I had reached the point to which she would not and did not want to tell me no to anything if I pushed an issue. At that very point she stood and said that she believed our two hours were up. Looking back, I am very glad she did that. If we had ended up going right up to her bed at that point, it may have cheapened what we both felt. I took her hand in mine, feeling her warmth. I pulled her close to me in the foyer and kissed her for the very first time. She slid so perfectly into my arms I swear I did not want to ever let that moment stop. Her kiss was so soft and tender, yet grew into something much hungrier. It had been a long time since a kiss had managed to stop time for me, maybe never like this one did. Pulling her tighter in my arms, I thought maybe I had completely lost my mind. How can this be, it was only a first date, but there was only one thought resoundingly screaming through my mind. I was home. Have you ever had that ‘perfect’ feeling before? The feeling that at that exact moment in time you were at the exact place you were supposed to be. That everything in the universe was perfectly aligned? That ‘perfect’ moment for me was standing there with her deep in my arms. As I walked to my car I looked up into the sky, seeing a few bright stars, I recalled all the conversations I had with God over the years. I could only look at his beautiful sky and say ‘ Thank You.’

That night was 12 months ago. We have been apart for a grand total of 7 nights since. We have been married for 8 months and have already begun our lives together. I had all but given up on finding that ‘soulmate’ that everyone talks about and dreams for. In fact I really didn’t think I was looking. I only know this, I knew from the first moment it was right. Although I am a hopeless romantic, I have never truly believed in love at first sight. She opened up parts of me inside my heart that had been shutdown since my divorce and I believe that there are many rooms that had never been entered before she walked past all my locks and chains. We never know what God’s plan is for each of us, we can only keep moving on and keep our eyes open to the possibilities. I wish everyone the happiness and luck that I have found and enjoy. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.


Pick up for prom night

Me and my boyfriend Cris both went to the same high I liked him, but just never thought we would ever go out. There were rumors going on around school that he was going to ask me and pick me up to prom night. I ignored it because i was never one to listen to rumors. One day when I stayed home from school because I was sick, I got a call. It was Cris. He asked me how I was doing and I said ok, I had the runs. This embarrased me so much. I'm a very open person, but I think I was a little to open then. We kind of laughed it off and then he asked me if I would like to go to prom. I said yes, so a couple days later I was picking out my prom dress. During the time between us going to prom and him asking me to prom we got a little closer but didn't consider ourselves "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". So we all met at my friend's house. Once he got there, he was very polite and gave my mom and dad a hand shake, i could tell he was nervous. So the limo came and all 6 of us got in. We cracked jokes and had fun on the way there. Then we were messing around and Cris jokingly went to cover my mouth. He put his arm around me and covered my mouth. Once he let go, I grabbed his hand and just looked at him. We walked in to the prom building together, found a table, then socialized with some friends. Then we started to dance. At first we were just joking, then before I knew it, he had pulled me close. Our cheeks kept brushing together and we kept almost kissing, but nothing happend until the 3rd to last song. He whispered in my ear and said the pick up line,"You know I have to leave in a few months". It was his Senior year and my sophmore year and he was leaving for college 6 hours away in Arizona. I said, "I know". And we kissed. We then realized that we have been missing out on eachother all this time. One the way home in the limo we spent the night in eachother's eyes and on eachothers lips. It was the most romantic night ever.


Blue eyes pickup lines

I have very blue eyes. I hear how lovely they are all the time (it does get old). So my favorite pickup line someone recently said to me, which made me laugh out loud (so much, in fact that's the story, that the dude got the date) was “Your eyes are as blue as window washing fluid.”


Party pickup line story

Here is my pickup line story. My “guy” and I were sitting on a couch at a relatively crowded party, canoodling as couples would. All of the sudden this man came up to me. With complete disregard for the arm around my shoulders, he pointed at me and said the pickup line, “You look like you need someone to go home with!” I was so taken aback by his forwardness that I just started cracking up (I can’t decide if I feel bad about that). I suppose he took it as a compliment because he immediately started Chip and Dale dancing over both of our laps! Talk about confidence…


Double pickup line story

It started as a normal pickup “can I get your number?”

We were making eyes all night. He was on the other side of the room with a friend, and I was hanging out with my friends by the bar. Finally, after about 2 hours, I went up to him and said "hi" to pick him up. We were both all smiles, but it was late, and we were trying to be classy, so we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

On our first date, I mentioned that it was kind of ridiculous that it took all night for one of us to approach the other, especially when it was so obvious that we were both interested.

His response line, “Especially since we’ve kissed before”.

Come to find out, we had met (and apparently made out) on one of those crazy nights that one just can’t quite remember. Oops. Probably not a good idea to get drunk and kiss random people, then forget about it.

But, the good news is we survived that awkward moment and dated for 8 months, though he did give me a hard time for not remembering him then entire 8 months.


Real pickup line story

I remember in college I went to this mixer and there was a girl there who I thought was really attractive, but I didn’t know who she was or if any of my friends knew her and what pickup line to use on her. Later on in the evening, after a few drinks, someone taps me on the shoulder and asks me the line “Do you know Sue Stitts?” I turn around while saying “Whose tits?” Well, that specific attractive girl turned out to be Sue Stitts who immediately slapped me in the face, but it turned out to be a good laugh and we ended up dating for a few months.


Pickup line at the dance floor

This pickup line was fired at me standing on a dance floor. My new salsa partner (who I had just met during that dance), used some fancy spinning moves on me (did I mention I don’t know how to salsa?), and I FLEW off the raised dance floor, onto the ground on my back. Of course a crowd immediately swarmed around me. I was fine, just a bit embarrassed. But I soon became massively embarrassed, because the dance partner leaped off the stage into the middle of the crowd and confidently and suavely declared the line; “I have had women fall for me before, but never like that!” Needless to say, I picked myself off the ground and ran away from Don Juan as fast as possible.


Swinging picked up date

I picked up this sultry cougar at a club last weekend. She was in her early 40's, blond, about 5-6, with huge melons, round butt, and curves in all the right places. She was the kind of girl guys all want to pickup when she was 30.

Anyway she approached me to chat and I proceeded to buy her a bunch of drinks. She was being very forward asking me all kinds of sexual questions about what I enjoyed, what my limits were, and so on. She was obviously very into me and before long she invited me back to her place.

We were fooling around in the cab and I was getting totally turned on. When we got to her place exited the taxi and she asked the driver to wait a minute.

She then leaned in and said "I have to tell you something before you come in." She went on with the line, "I am married, but my husband and I are swingers." She continued, "we would like to have a threesome with you, and don't worry he is straight so you won't be doing anything with him."


Gay?

After months I finally worked up the nerve and asked a girl I have been secretly in love with at work out on a date. She just stared at me. After what seemed like an eternity I asked her "are you at least going to answer me?" She finally did, she said "I’m just so surprised, I thought you were gay.


Coffee and Sweet Dessert

I took this girl I met on the internet out on a date. If we didn't have sex soon we were heading to the "friend" zone. On the way home she invited me back to her place for the "coffee and sweet dessert" pickup line. Very excited I said "YES!" When we got there, we actually had coffee and strawberry dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert...


Cheesy pckup line

This is my worst, very cheesy, but funny pick up line story. Going out dancing with my girlfriends on 18th street. A guy comes up to me starts dancing then squeezes my butt and says (in an African accent) “You are worth 2 lions and an elephant in my country.” I said “I am worth much more than that, thank you” and walked away.


Hello Wanda

As I walked out of my house one afternoon a nice elderly gentleman was walking around the corner. As he saw me, he said, “Hello Wanda”, thinking he maybe had mistaken me for someone else, and not wanting to correct him, I smiled and went about my business, I didn’t want him to feel bad for calling me the wrong name. As he got closer he said it again the pick-up, “Hello Wanda” I couldn’t pretend this time, I politely replied, “I’m not Wanda” and he said, “I know…I just Wanda know your name.”

He then proceeded to tell me a story about his military days when women weren’t allowed to speak to men, and that’s how him and the “boys” got around that little hurdle.

He tried the same tactic on me a couple weeks later, I was on to him this time.


Difficult story. This is how I picked up Eva

It all started my first day in the USA. I called my friends Pete and Pamela to see if they needed any help with moving in or sorting out anything in their apartment. They said I could stop by and help so I did. I stopped by to help clean and organize things. I met their new roommate Eva who was the sister of a friend of Pete. I said "Hello" as a conversation starter and shook her hand tried to make small talk but she never looked me in the eye or gave any response to anything I was asking. She was busy organizing the kitchen and she seemed kinda bossy ordering everyone around. I helped out with what I was "allowed" to help out with. So I left that day with my mind occupied on other things. Months passed and I would often stop by to visit Pete and Pamela and of course Eva was always there. And I would say hi and make small talk, tried pickup lines, and what not. As time passed I recall working on a project in the Library one day with a friend of mine. (Eva worked at the Library at the time) and as we were walking past the help desk. I heard "HI ROB!!" I turned to see Eva waving enthusiastically at me I waved back and said "Hi" but kept on walking. My friend turned to me with a big suprised look on her face and said, "Wow that was quite the flirtatious hello." "Really?" I said. "Yeah no doubt about it." I didn't really think anything about it and then just went to class. I came home that same day and found an elaborate note on my bed. It was from Eva asking me to a formal dance the next weekend. I was very suprised and anyone who knows me knows that I love to dance even though I don't dance very well. In any case I was sad to say I could not go because I had already made plans to go to my mission reunion that same weekend. I was sad but I wanted to make it up to her. I thought I would do something else with her. So I invited her to play frisbee later that saturday. On Sunday we went to a fireside together then to staidium singing. Monday we went for a REALLY long walk and had a really good talk. Tuesday we went to devotional together. Wensday I had a show in the Hinkley she was unable to come because she had fainted earlier that day (Because she was thinking of me *giggle*) Just kidding she gets dizzy from her medication which causes her to faint sometimes. In any case I went to see her afterwards and see how she was doing. She had made me some cookies and we set a date to go on a date the next night. I picked her up and we headed out to the theater and met my roommate and his girlfriend there. We went to go see a movie then went out to eat afterwards and we walked back home. We came to an intersection and I asked,"So where is this going?" (as a pickup line) Eva stopped for a second and looked down at the street . I jokingly said, "Not the street, us. Where are we going?" She laughed and said, "Well I like you and I'd like it to go somewhere." "So would I." I said with a smile. Shortly after that I held her hand and I've never let go since. That's the story in a nut shell. We have lots of funny stories to go along with this that we still laugh about. Although I may be missing some "important" details I believe that Eva will agree for the most part. But if she has anything else to add then she certinely can. Or if there are any questions feel free to ask her or myself. That's it for now and the rest will be history.


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